Wife SMS

A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Angry Husband: Do not let the animal in me come out!
Wife: who is scared of a mouse......


************


She is the apple of my eye
The reason that I live
She is all that I could wish for
My heart to her I give......


************






Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.....


************


what is the best punishment for a woman?
give her new clothes
matching her jewelry
and nice cosmetics
and then
lock her in a room without mirror.....


************


What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A – One Woman Brings U into this world crying…
&
the other ensures U Continue to do so...... 


*************


Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney....


************ 


Husband: Today is sunday &
I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why three?
Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.....


************** 


A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Angry Husband: Do not let the animal in me come out!
Wife: who is scared of a mouse.....
 
************** 


A psychological survey Report:
when 2 couples come face to face,
Wives look at each others
dresses
&
Husbands look at each others wives…


**************** 


Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday..... 


***************


wife:honey,what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing
wife:why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date.....

*************** 


No knowledge without college
No life without wife
wife is a knife which cuts your life
So, Never select a wife in your college life… 


************** 


A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free..... 


************** 


It’s an old saying.
Keep away the tension while sleeping.
But I don’t know why people
still sleeping with their wives......

*************** 


Husband asks: Do you know the
meaning of WIFE? It means…
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says: No darling , it means :-
With Idiot For Ever......

****************


LOVE IS LIFE
LIFE IS WIFE
WIFE IS KNIFE
and
KNIFE IS DANGEROUS...... 


*************** 


The Japanese have produced a camera
that has such a fast shutter speed
it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut.... 


*************** 


Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.....


**************


A man said his credit card was stolen
but he decided not to report it
since the thief was spending much less than his wife did....


***************


what is the true friendship???
Ans- It is when your best friend
runs away with your wife &
You are really worried……
for your friend.....


************


Husband and wife on picnic.
there was a donkey eating grass.
Wife said: See your relative eating grass, Say Hi
Husband said: Hello father-in-law.....


*************


Always listen to your wife
She gives Sound Advice
99% Sound and 1% Advice.....


**************


One tree can start a forest,
One smile can start a friendship
One touch can show love and care
One person like you can make life worth living!,.....


**************
Love is like a long sweet dream
and marriage is an alarm clock.
So have a sweet dreams till your
alarm wakes you up.
Happy Unmarried Life.....


*************** 


One of the true and nice saying:-
“The most beautiful clothes
that a woman can wear
are the arms of the man
who loves her.....


***************


Sardar: My wife is so naughty.
She always kidding with me.
Friend: how..?
Sardar: yesterday I went home.
and I put my hands on her eyes.
She said: Its you the watchman.....


*************


Two deaf men are discussing
their wives using sign language.
1st: What to you do when
your wife start complaining.
2nd: just stop listening
1st: How…?
2nd: I turn off the lights.....


*************


Degrees of girls….!
B.A = Beautiful Angel
B.E = Beautiful Eyes
B.Sc = Beautiful Structure
L.L.B = Lovely Lifp and Body
M.B.A = Married but Available....


**************


Wife: I am the book of your life.
Husband: Yes exactly you are right.
If you were a calendar of my life,
then once a year I’ll change it.....


***************


Arguing with girls, wife or ladies is like
wrestling with a Pig in mud.
After sometime you realise that you are getting dirty
& the pig is enjoying !!!!!!!!


*************


Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.
Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.
Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second....


*************


Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple…
A woman does not have a wife......


***********


Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest
and pease so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor:They are for you.....


**********


Last night was my fault,
my wife asked,
“what’s on the TV?”
and ….. I said, “dust.....


***********


My wife and I
were happy for 20 years.
Than we met.....

***********


Dost kabhi apni wife ko naraz na karna,
kyouki ye hi aap ke taqdeer ka khazana
hai,us ko naraz kya matlab aap ne apne
naseeb ko naraz kya......

************

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai,
police station me complain dijiyee.
Man:Kia karon, khushi k mare
kuch samajh nahin aa raha.....

*************

Biwi(Ghusse Main):
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!(Pyar Se)
Husband To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho….?? 

***************


Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon..... 

***************

Husband: Main Tumhari roz roz ki farmaishon se tang aa gaya hoon, is liye khud khushi karne jaa raha hoon
Wife: Acha aik White Saari to dila dain Iddat kay dino main kya pehnungi
***************

Waqt per aadat na badlay to wo zaroorat-e-life ban jati hai
Aur agar waqt per Girl Friend na badlay to wo kambakht Wife ban jati hai
***************

Husband/wife me jhagra hua, to Wife ne apni Maa ko fone kia.
Ammi mera un se jhagra ho gya hai, me 3,4 month k liye ap k ghar aa rahi hun,
Maa boli: Jaghra us kambakht ne kia hai saza bhi use hi milni chahiye,
Tu wahin thehr mai aa rahi hun 5,6month k Liye
***************

 You know why women starts with ‘W’…
because all questions start with “W”.. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!

***************
Wife: Last night I saw a dream that you were buying jewelry for me.
Husband: Yes, I saw your dad paying the bill.

***************

Question: What is the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday?
Ans. Just forget it once and you will never forget it again.

***************
wife:honey,what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing
wife:why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date 

***************

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

***************

Wife SMS

A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Angry Husband: Do not let the animal in me come out!
Wife: who is scared of a mouse......


************


She is the apple of my eye
The reason that I live
She is all that I could wish for
My heart to her I give......


************






Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.....


************


what is the best punishment for a woman?
give her new clothes
matching her jewelry
and nice cosmetics
and then
lock her in a room without mirror.....


************


What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A – One Woman Brings U into this world crying…
&
the other ensures U Continue to do so...... 


*************


Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney....


************ 


Husband: Today is sunday &
I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why three?
Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.....


************** 


A small argument between a couple turns violent.
Angry Husband: Do not let the animal in me come out!
Wife: who is scared of a mouse.....
 
************** 


A psychological survey Report:
when 2 couples come face to face,
Wives look at each others
dresses
&
Husbands look at each others wives…


**************** 


Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday..... 


***************


wife:honey,what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing
wife:why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date.....

*************** 


No knowledge without college
No life without wife
wife is a knife which cuts your life
So, Never select a wife in your college life… 


************** 


A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free..... 


************** 


It’s an old saying.
Keep away the tension while sleeping.
But I don’t know why people
still sleeping with their wives......

*************** 


Husband asks: Do you know the
meaning of WIFE? It means…
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says: No darling , it means :-
With Idiot For Ever......

****************


LOVE IS LIFE
LIFE IS WIFE
WIFE IS KNIFE
and
KNIFE IS DANGEROUS...... 


*************** 


The Japanese have produced a camera
that has such a fast shutter speed
it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut.... 


*************** 


Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.....


**************


A man said his credit card was stolen
but he decided not to report it
since the thief was spending much less than his wife did....


***************


what is the true friendship???
Ans- It is when your best friend
runs away with your wife &
You are really worried……
for your friend.....


************


Husband and wife on picnic.
there was a donkey eating grass.
Wife said: See your relative eating grass, Say Hi
Husband said: Hello father-in-law.....


*************


Always listen to your wife
She gives Sound Advice
99% Sound and 1% Advice.....


**************


One tree can start a forest,
One smile can start a friendship
One touch can show love and care
One person like you can make life worth living!,.....


**************
Love is like a long sweet dream
and marriage is an alarm clock.
So have a sweet dreams till your
alarm wakes you up.
Happy Unmarried Life.....


*************** 


One of the true and nice saying:-
“The most beautiful clothes
that a woman can wear
are the arms of the man
who loves her.....


***************


Sardar: My wife is so naughty.
She always kidding with me.
Friend: how..?
Sardar: yesterday I went home.
and I put my hands on her eyes.
She said: Its you the watchman.....


*************


Two deaf men are discussing
their wives using sign language.
1st: What to you do when
your wife start complaining.
2nd: just stop listening
1st: How…?
2nd: I turn off the lights.....


*************


Degrees of girls….!
B.A = Beautiful Angel
B.E = Beautiful Eyes
B.Sc = Beautiful Structure
L.L.B = Lovely Lifp and Body
M.B.A = Married but Available....


**************


Wife: I am the book of your life.
Husband: Yes exactly you are right.
If you were a calendar of my life,
then once a year I’ll change it.....


***************


Arguing with girls, wife or ladies is like
wrestling with a Pig in mud.
After sometime you realise that you are getting dirty
& the pig is enjoying !!!!!!!!


*************


Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.
Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.
Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second....


*************


Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple…
A woman does not have a wife......


***********


Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest
and pease so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor:They are for you.....


**********


Last night was my fault,
my wife asked,
“what’s on the TV?”
and ….. I said, “dust.....


***********


My wife and I
were happy for 20 years.
Than we met.....

***********


Dost kabhi apni wife ko naraz na karna,
kyouki ye hi aap ke taqdeer ka khazana
hai,us ko naraz kya matlab aap ne apne
naseeb ko naraz kya......

************

Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai,
police station me complain dijiyee.
Man:Kia karon, khushi k mare
kuch samajh nahin aa raha.....

*************

Biwi(Ghusse Main):
Tumhare Dimagh Main To
Sirf Gobar Hi Bhara Hai..!!(Pyar Se)
Husband To Phr Itni Dyer Se Kha Q Rahi Ho….?? 

***************


Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri se hi poch raha hon..... 

***************

Husband: Main Tumhari roz roz ki farmaishon se tang aa gaya hoon, is liye khud khushi karne jaa raha hoon
Wife: Acha aik White Saari to dila dain Iddat kay dino main kya pehnungi
***************

Waqt per aadat na badlay to wo zaroorat-e-life ban jati hai
Aur agar waqt per Girl Friend na badlay to wo kambakht Wife ban jati hai
***************

Husband/wife me jhagra hua, to Wife ne apni Maa ko fone kia.
Ammi mera un se jhagra ho gya hai, me 3,4 month k liye ap k ghar aa rahi hun,
Maa boli: Jaghra us kambakht ne kia hai saza bhi use hi milni chahiye,
Tu wahin thehr mai aa rahi hun 5,6month k Liye
***************

 You know why women starts with ‘W’…
because all questions start with “W”.. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!

***************
Wife: Last night I saw a dream that you were buying jewelry for me.
Husband: Yes, I saw your dad paying the bill.

***************

Question: What is the most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday?
Ans. Just forget it once and you will never forget it again.

***************
wife:honey,what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing
wife:why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date 

***************

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

***************